What’s REAL Communication?

have studied, practiced, coached, and taught communication skills over the last 20 years. Learning how to communicate powerfully with ease, without fear and uncertainty is one of the most important keys to your success in anything. I wanted to share some things I’ve learned along the way. These ideas and techniques can be used both in business and in your personal communications.

The most important thing in building successful and long lasting relationships is communication. Over the next few weeks start to take notice and become aware of how you’re communicating with others. Are you dominating the conversation? Are you speaking “their” language or your own? Are you listening just so you can hurry up and speak? Do you really care what the person is saying to you? Are you speaking confidently and clearly? Are you speaking authentically and straight? Do you acknowledge what the other person has said? Do you leave conversations feeling you’ve taken care of the other person?

1. One of the most important things I’ve learned is you must always align with and agree with the other person answering their questions or objections. Get on THEIR side and let them know you understand how they feel, that’s a great question; I would feel the same way, etc. And then from there you can answer their question in a way that validates them and lets them know you actually heard their question.

2. Try to talk and “sound like” them. If they talk slow, you talk slow. If they talk fast, you talk fast. If they are talking quiet you talk quiet, if they talk loud, you talk loud. It’s been proven that people like to be around people who are “like” them. If we behave and talk like them, it creates instant rapport and a level of familiarity to the other person. The more comfortable the other person is, the better chance you have of doing business together.

3. The more questions you ask of the client, the more control you have of the conversation and situation. Be interested in them and what they’re up to by asking tons of questions. Questions keeps them talking about themselves. It has been proven that one of the most favorite things for human beings to talk about is themselves. The more you discover about the client the better you are able to help them.

4. Honestly, people don’t really care about how great we are, who our family is, or what our interests are. They really only care about how we can help them get what they want. Staying focused on what you can do for them, and away from how great you are, will allow you to do more deals with less time. I mean guys, why waste time talking about ourselves? The more people talk about themselves the happier they are so lets let our clients TALK! Your job is to learn about them, their needs, wants and desires and then show them how you can help them accomplish their goals not tell them all about yourself and your life.

5. Be prepared with scripts and objection handlers for every situation. There are only so many questions and objections that come up in this business. Take on writing down the most challenging objections that you face and write down a few different answers then study and practice them so you have an automatic, scripted response when asked the most common questions. If you haven’t already you may also consider purchasing our book, Now What Do I Say? A collection of over 400 answers to more than 70 of the most common objections we face in our business. You can purchase this on Amazon.com or on our website, www.yourethedifference.com.

6. Be right or be happy. One of my favorite coaches taught me that. You know I’ve found it’s easy to get a big ego in this business of real estate and to become a know it all. However, it’s extremely dangerous to behave that way when it comes to clients, other agents, and actually friends, family and loved ones as well. “People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care”. A great quote by Zig Zigglar. Develop true compassion, concern, and care for your clients and experience more business without even having to work harder. Come from a place of true contribution for your clients, and watch magic occur in your business! Before demonstrating how much you know demonstrate how much you care.

7. Talk less. Answer the questions, say what you need to say, and simply be quiet. Sometimes we talk ourselves right out of the business without even realizing it. Simply being quiet and allowing the client a chance to think and respond can make a world of difference in many cases. It’s easy to explain or justify yourself right out of a deal. Sometimes there’s no need. Even in conversations with our friends and family, especially if it’s a debate situation. The more you’re talking the more likely you are to regret things later. Be the quiet one and consider letting the other person have the last word most of the time.

8. Practice your business. You do the same thing everyday. You work with sellers, you work with buyers. You work with other agents. While each transaction is slightly different, the overall business doesn’t change. Just like professional athletes practice the same jump shot, tackle, golf swing, or dribble over and over and over again, we need to practice our scripts and presentations over and over and over again to become a true professional salesperson with great communication skills.

9. Be unattached. When you are attached to each deal and every paycheck, it comes across to the client as desperation. No one likes desperation. Even if you are attached, fake it till you make it. Confident and relaxed is the best way to be in any sales situation. Remember, focus on THEIR needs, wants, and desires, not your own. A paycheck comes as a result of doing a great job.

10. Use downswings. When you use upswings in communicating, you leave doubt and question in the mind of your client. An authoritative down swing compels your client to listen to what you’re saying, and in most cases, trust you. A downswing is what we as parents naturally do when speaking to our children, clean your ROOM. We go downward in our tone with the word room instead of upward, and the child knows we mean business. If the idea of a downswing doesn’t make sense, please message me and I’ll be happy to further explain it to you. Your goal is to end your statements with confidence not with uncertainty.

“Christy Crouch is the co-founder of You’re The Difference Sales & Life Coaching, co-author of the highly acclaimed real estate objection handler book, Now What Do I Say? a collection of more than 400 answers to over 70 of the most common questions and objections faced in the real estate industry. She is still an active agent in Virginia, has participated in closing thousands of transactions in her career, was inducted in the RE/MAX Hall of Fame for her production. Christy is in the top 2.3% of her marketplace. Her goal is to share what she’s learned with other agents to support them in having a highly successful real estate sales business while having a happy and balanced life. To learn more about her coaching and products please email her at christy@yourethedifference.com or visit her website at www.yourethedifference.com”