If you’ve been with Christy Crouch and I for any length of time here at You’re The Difference…whether simply reading our blogs, reading our book Now What Do I Say?, listening to the live role play CD, being in our telecourses, or in our coaching, you’ve likely heard us talk about and teach how to get in rapport.

(By the way, Now What Do I Say? and all of our other products are on sale for 25% off through the end of March.  It’s the You’re The Difference Economic Stimulus Package!)

I mention it here because no matter how many scripts and objection handlers you learn, no how much NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) language we teach you, even almost no matter what your mindset…if you’re not in rapport with your prospects and clients, what you say won’t matter.

In my opinion, the word rapport gets thrown around a lot.

Most people think that getting rapport is a matter of being nice to someone, finding a common ground (like a hobby), asking them questions about themselves, or being enthusiastic.

And they regard being in rapport as having a nice conversation with someone.  To which I always wonder, that’s your perspective…do you honestly know if the person on the other end thought it was a nice conversation?  Furthermore, since you’re in sales, are you sure that your nice conversation is enough to get someone to use your services over someone else?

To really know if you’re in rapport, let’s look at what rapport actually is.  The dictionary defines rapport as, a connection,  an especially harmonious or sympathetic relation; a relationship of mutual understanding or trust and agreement between people; a relationship, especially one of mutual trust or emotional affinity.

That’s some pretty deep stuff, ain’t it?

If you’re talking to someone and find out you both have two kids under seven, does that mean you’ve established an especially harmonious relationship of mutual trust or emotional affinity?  I really don’t think so.

If you’re enthusiastic when talking to a prospect, is there a connection…a relationship of mutual understanding and agreement?  Uh…maybe not.

Think about it, if someone you don’t know is really nice to you…don’t you sometimes suspect an ulterior motive?  If someone, especially a salesperson, starts asking you questions about yourself, don’t you want them to mind their own business?

For the purposes of this post, I’m not going to attempt to teach you how to get into rapport here.  Besides the space constraints, it takes practice.  I am, however, going to leave you with two things to think about

1.  Read Instant Rapport by Michael Brooks.

2. Understand that virtually all of the people who turned you down, hung up on you, backed out of a deal, didn’t listen to your advice, fought with you, demanded some of your commission at closing, listed with someone else, and any other bad thing that can happen between you and a prospect…did so because you weren’t in rapport with them.

*If you want to learn and practice getting in rapport, contact us at info@yourethedifference, so we can tell you about our upcoming tele-course schedule…and learn about our Role Play Connection where you can practice your sales skills with other agents across North America for only $29 a month!