What’s the difference between you and an agent who does more business than you?

Skills?  Sure.

Experience?  Could be.

Work Ethic?  Maybe.

How well known they are in the market?  Possibly.

Confidence?  Definitely.  Which leads to the real answer:  your mindset.

All those reasons, and many more, can contribute to why someone does more business than someone else.  And yet, when it comes down to it, mindset will separate the great ones from the mediocre every time.

And what’s worse…your mindset may work to convince you that since you don’t have better skills, experience, work ethic, popularity in the market, etc., then you have no reason to be confident, and therefore won’t be.

During a break at one of my speaking events, a manager/broker asked me if I would do a quick spot-coaching session with her.  At the time she had been in that position for two years.

She wanted to talk about recruiting and building the office up, and building the skill level of the agents, etc.  However, in the first few minutes of the conversation she kept talking about learning the ropes, getting her feet wet, not upsetting the apple cart and that she was a new manager.

Finally, I asked her one question:  “It’s been two years.  When do you stop thinking of yourself as new?”

If you’ve never seen someone get confronted about their self-beliefs before, their face turns red (or goes pale, depending), and then you see their facial expressions change.  In an instant, with one question, this woman’s whole life changed.  You could see a tremendous weight lifted off of her shoulders.  She smiled, and almost cried in relief.

She was continuously telling herself, and anyone who would listen, a story about how new she was, that she didn’t know what she was doing, that she wasn’t worthy of making managerial decisions, etc.  She felt that she was an okay enough agent, but not so good as to be the manager.  So her whole existence for those two years was living into her perpetuating story about how unworthy and unskilled she was as a manager.

Meanwhile, the higher ups were getting frustrated with her because to them she had so much potential.  She really wasn’t managing her agents, because she didn’t believe she was good enough, and they didn’t respect her because of the way she was coming across (as someone who didn’t think she was worthy).

Needless to say things changed for the better after her realization.

How do you think of yourself as a real estate sales agent?  Your skills?  Your abilities?

How do you think of yourself in terms of you vs. your competition? (HINT: don’t think about your competition.  There’s enough business for everyone, even in this market, if you go get it.  The only thing that thinking about your competition will do is ensure you don’t get that business.)

What stories are you telling yourself about yourself?

When I first got into real estate, my training was typical real estate training – here’s your desk, here’s your phone, good luck, you’re on your own.  Although I was told to make a list of 150 people I knew, send a letter telling them I’m in real estate, and then following up a week later, I was also told to listen to the guy who started just two weeks before I did, so that I’d know what to say.  A guy who ended up being forced out of the business inside of four months.

Anyway, there was an agent in my office who was selling a little more than 80 homes a year.  Fittingly, if he was in the office (and not on appointments), he was virtually always on the phone.

The agent had a good heart, because he wanted his colleagues to succeed.  However, his frustration at our lack of effort came out, combined with his workload not allowing him to really have time to help.  So, frequently he would bark at the other agents (including me), “Get on the phones!  Make some money!” as he was walking in or out of the office to and from appointments.

Boy did this piss us off!  We were so angry at that agent.  I know now it was jealousy coupled with fear; fear of rejection and of not knowing what to say.  However, do you know what my prevailing thought was for almost my whole first year in real estate?  Well, besides some four letter words directed at that agent, I kept thinking to myself, “When I’m in the business 10 years, I’ll have that many people to call, too!  I’ll do 80 deals, too.”

Can you imagine if I had been content to never do lead generation out of fear, yet wait 10 years to get as many clients as that agent?  I’d have been a complete order taker, lucky to get floor duty and open house traffic.  Let’s say by some miracle I would have still been in the business, although I highly doubt it.  I’d probably have been lucky to do 10 deals a year!

What bull**** are you telling yourself that’s holding you back from doing more deals?  You can learn What To Say and How To Say It.  You can learn to handle objections.  You can get coaching, skills and training.  Everyday you’re in the business, you gain more experience.  You can develop work ethic.

But if you don’t change your mindset, you will never succeed at anywhere near a comfortable level.

I’ve seen it happen a lot:  two agents with the same skill level do the same things day in and day out.  They practice the same, they call the same amount and types of prospects, etc.  Yet, one does much better than the other.  Why?  Because one agent EXPECTS to do well, and the other does things like worry about the first agent, and tells him/herself all sorts of other stories about why they aren’t that good, and how hard it is to be successful.

Don’t let your head get in the way.  You are just as good as everyone else, and probably even better…

…if you want to be.

Scott Friedman